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OTTUMWAVILLE—A young Beagle known for her easygoing personality and excellent track record was expelled from the prestigious obedience school, Dog Law, when, during a routine fetch exercise, the animal went haywire and tried to lick a staff member to death.
“Everyone loved Bessy. In fact, she was our top student. But she’s been missing a lot of class lately,” said Margie, the school’s superintendent. “And then one day, she showed up dressed like a mythological creature from another world. She tried to put a magic spell on the staff and fellow students by licking their faces and barking in tongues.”
“I never meant for this to happen,” said Bessy. “I recently got into this video game, ‘Medieval Canine 2: Unleashed.’ I guess things got a little too real for me. I should have known when I started making chain-mail armor suited for a midsized dog,” Bessy reflected. “I led the life of medieval canine hell-bent on rescuing the princess, when in fact, it was I who needed the rescuing.”
Bessy said she has no hard feelings over being expelled and plans on writing a tell-all book. “I believe the world needs to hear my story. But first I have to get 100,000 spirit points by defeating the Frog King in order to get a writing utensil.”
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